Walls

I have decided that people never really show who they are. Well, they do to a certain point. It's like a game. Or fishing...yeah, definately like fishing. I mean, they hand you a part of themselves on a hook, and whether you decided to bite or not determines whether or not you will be able to understand them. To see the amazing person they keep locked away inside. This may come across as being a little bit arrogant, but I tend to see myself as the person who bites (and not in a sarcastically burnage type way...think of the simile). Well, only where friends are concerned. I always want to look deeper, get to know everyone for the person they have hidden behind the wall, the person that is kept under lock and key. I want to bring out the person that is afraid to face the world. I don't mind being other people's strength. But don't let me be my own. In a word, I am a coward. I am afraid of revealing the part of myself I drive others to release. I am afraid of letting go of the inner most section of my mind in which I ponder all my little problems. To an extent I keep a part of me locked away from everyone, even my very best friends (although they know a part of me that no one ever has). I fear romance, because I just can't come to grips with the thought that there could be someone out there who would love me for me...I'm just that warped at times. My cool confidence (bwahahaha, me confident? yeah, that'll be the day) tends to melt away to the shy awkward girl who wants nothing more than to return to the days when I could still curl up on my Daddy's lap and have him fight away all of the monsters for me. But I'm older now. I have to face the darkness alone. And all because I'm afraid to knock down my wall. But if you need it, I can help you with yours. More strangeness yet to come.